On the back of one of the most amazing weekends of my life, during which I discovered a wealth of cultural gems within my own state, I now write to you all in a most reflective state of mind. In light of these past few days, I find myself comparing various cities in Georgia to my current hometown of Augusta and its outlying suburbs.
Before we get started, let's get this straight: I'm a Georgia native. Apart from my military service, which relocated me to California, Texas and Nebraska, I have always lived here. I was born in Atlanta, raised in her outskirts, and educated to strive for a more universally contemporary South that embraces the wealth of cultures that compose it, which was a mindset that often came at the expense of my popularity during my high school years, which were spent in a more backwards, rural, cultural dead end in Jefferson, GA, well outside of the Atlanta area.
***Somewhat Amusing Digression Approaching*** In retrospect, I figure my high school harassment could most readily be attributed to the fact that my accent was a more neutral American accent as opposed to the local drawl, dripping with sister-loving Southern syrup; apparently, my vocabulary was too coherent and grounded in the actual English language for the liking of the locals. Well, that, and I didn't smell like them, probably. Regardless, I was a bizarre and pretentious affront to the local second grade vocabulary cap and I was a particularly peculiar species of misfit in my new surroundings. But I somewhat smugly digress.
***Somewhat Amusing Digression Concluded***
***Somewhat Amusing Digression Concluded***
From this perspective, as a non-native resident of Augusta, I want to explore the contrasts between this city and other Georgian population centers. Let's examine the facts. Fact: Augusta is the second-largest metro area (by population) in Georgia next to the Atlanta area. However, many of my other, more well-travelled colleagues and I find this little slice of "Georgia-Lina" somewhat lacking in style and contemporary appeal, whereas many other, much smaller areas of the state have had the social awareness of the necessity of evolving to embrace a more modern outlook and adapting to accommodate a wider audience.
Augusta's economy survives largely on three things: 1) Medical students or anyone who really needs a medical job; my Dad is a pharmacist, and recently made a remark about how the only available jobs in the state tend to pop up in Augusta. 2) Soldiers/defense industry personnel, most of whom are stationed here and/or have no immediate choice to relocate. 3) Masters Tournament tourists, who regrettably cannot attend the Masters Tournament elsewhere.
My point is that a very significant portion of the people entering and supporting the local economy have very little choice in where they live. Like a big, wet blanket soaked with shameful tears, the blame for first establishing, and now perpetuating this social stagnation falls squarely on the native Augustans. Obviously, we (i.e., myself and my family), now live here too; it is now also upon us to add our sensibilities to the community, so here we are.
This blog is my contribution, my proverbial two cents, given in the form of tough love in order to raise awareness of the simple fact that Augusta needs a serious social reboot.
The evidences of a forward or backward-thinking city can be observed in the presence or lack of many things, including, but certainly not limited to, accessible roads and sensible traffic direction, traffic bypasses, the promotion of cultural celebrations, local craft/farming events, community events, etc. However, the focus of this entry, obviously, will be upon the culinary side of things. And yet, as limited in scope as this may seem, the lack of modern, innovative restaurants representing a wide variety of cultures can be so indicative of cultural decay or xenophobic isolationist leanings on a fundamental level.
First, let's examine Augusta from an outside perspective. To non-Augusta residents, it is immediately apparent that Augusta floats its own boat on the pride of the Masters Tournament. If I go out to dinner, I literally cannot swing a dead fucking cat without hitting at least one person with a stupid, yellow Masters flag somewhere on their clothing ensemble, and I estimate that greater than half of them didn't even attend the tournament; in fact, my Spidey Sense purports that they had someone who actually had tickets buy said apparel for them.
They reality is that I have, on several occasions, overheard out-of-towners lamenting the fact that they have to come to a "congested, backwards swamp" just to see a golf match. They regret that all Augusta offers are dilapidated 80's-style novelties such as Hibachi restaurants and places with dusty wax fruit on display or lobster tanks in the foyer (yes, I just pretentiously pronounced that "foy-YAY). They hate the fact that modern, trendy restaurants can't survive long because they are choked out by locally-enabled, substandard cuisine vomited out by outdated, mediocre and wildly overpriced restaurants like French Market Grille (btw, they literally and unashamedly gouge their menu prices during the Masters Tournament; once, they refused to give us the "local discount" because they didn't believe we were really locals). The guests are also annoyed that local businesses shamelessly tout their patronage from past and present stars of the PGA Tour, as if it's some milestone that one time, some guy who can juggle golf balls on his club came in to their restaurant to eat...as if he had a lot of choice. They resent the fact that Augusta has neglected to update its woefully outmoded traffic infrastructure to accommodate its rapidly swelling population, to say nothing of the yearly tourist influx. They wish they could be anywhere but Augusta. Anywhere. Like Mogadishu. Yeah, it's that bad.
Now, brace thyself for the gospel of comparison; prepare for a veritable enema of truth, as I proceed to give some undeniable examples of cities in Georgia, to include even smaller, relatively low-traffic areas, that have not missed the bus and have already upped their games to the next level; I want to let them stand in comparison to Augusta.
Atlanta (or pretty much anywhere in the Metro Area): I don't need to say much about this one; Atlanta is currently redefining itself as the next big American powerhouse city. Cultural diversity, a lively arts and music scene, the recent swelling of the film industry, a business friendly environment, as well as a scattering of trendy districts offering varying atmospheres are all contributing to make Atlanta and its outlying areas the next big thing on the national map. I could (and I figuratively have done this) throw a freaking dart at a map and find an amazing dining experience, even a good 15-30 miles OTP (Outside the Perimeter, for the benefit of the tragically unhip).
Atlanta's surrounding area has benefited from exponential growth over the past decade or two. We're talking around 10 entire cities that all offer their own unique downtown scenes and microcosms. The entire area is such a cultural gold mine that it pretty much justifies the ridiculous traffic. We'll leave that debate for another time, though. I won't go too much farther with this, as there is literally just too much to cover in one post.
Blue Ridge: This little gem, while arguably a tourist trap, is literally a tiny little railway town snuggled up in the foothills of the Appalachians. But what you see on a regular basis, even in the off-seasons, is a buzz about town; people coming and going, foot traffic, a miriad of shops and modern bistros, bier gartens, and breweries. It's a tiny community that has a lot to offer in a tiny package, and some of the restaurants are worthy of cities much larger than Augusta. Despite its remote location, this place has managed to keep up with the times and adapt to ever-changing trends. Add the splendor of fall to the mix and you can just forget about ever leaving. You will want to live under a bridge. But be warned: the locals will be laughing if you fork out the dolla-dolla bills for the choo choo ride; apparently it's not all it's cracked up to be. They will literally tape a "Kick Me" sign to your back as you ride off on a journey to the Land of Wasted Money.
Athens: Granted, I have very few fond memories of this birthplace of bands such as REM and the B-52s, with most of them linked to smokey bar gigs in any number of the town's trendy little nooks. On second thought, it could just be that I hate both of those bands. I'm not sure.
Regardless, Athens, while sporting a shamelessly hippie-esque vibe, still offers a cornucopia of cultural appreciation, and thereby, a lot of good food. From Indian restaurants to kabob shops to vegetarian specialties, Athens has many unique restaurants, bars and hidey holes to discover. Healthy foot traffic can be observed on any day, and the nights are always alive until the sun says otherwise. The healthy music scene is fueled by a heavy focus on liberal arts and offers a lot of variety in the local acts. There's always something entertaining going on in Athens, provided you can stomach the congested, one-way streets and limited parking. Failing everything else, you can always grab some tickets to a UGA game and have a laugh at the expense of the absurdity of some of the more...enthusiastic fans. Just keep it to yourself or you'll probably end up dead in a piss-soaked alley or having an "Ugga" statue surgically removed from thy backside barndoor. Love it or hate it, Athens can be a happening place.
Dahlonega: Once upon a time, there was not a lot to look at in this small, semi-mountainous town. Today, thanks largely to the exponential growth of a local military college, this city offers some serious charm, with a quaint town square at the center of a good number of stylish and clever restaurants and shops. The atmosphere is open, inviting and liberating. Beautiful buildings, both new and historic, add a satisfying aesthetic to the already beautiful rolling landscape. Quirky music shops and occasional street performers perfume the environment with curious charm. You never know what you'll find around the next corner. A scattering of local vineyards in the area add incentive to explore the beautiful. surrounding hills and imbibe its locally grown fruits. Dahlonega, the one-time capitol of Bumpkinistan, has now adapted to culture to become WAYYYYYYY cooler than Augusta, the second-largest metro area in the state.
Savannah: I'm only listing Savannah because of its cool downtown area and all of its offerings, to include the River Walk and the beautiful squares and building plazas. There are plenty of awesome restaurants and bars lining the avenues of the downtown area, and even a few really good ones outside the area. And hey, if you want to get REALLY fat on mediocre food for a LOT of money, you can eat at Paula Deen's stupid restaurant just so you can say you ate at a restaurant dreamed up by some fat, white lady with Chicklettes for teeth during a butter overdose-induced fever. Ghost tours, horse-drawn carriage (or "buggy," to Southerners) rides, open container allowances and beautiful cemeteries make Savannah's downtown district something to enjoy. But be warned: if you venture outside of the downtown area, prepare for a legendary bollocking of congestion and traffic along its infamous "Highway to Hell" known as Abercorn St. You will probably die, whether from boredom, traffic-induced injuries, or drive-by shooting (literally happened to a friend of mine), so don't even attempt this. Just enjoy the downtown and GTFO before a giant roach eats you.
So there you have it. Every single one of those places pretty much puts Augusta to shame in almost every way. Obviously, I realize that absolutely no city is perfect, and that every area has its drawbacks. I'm not hating on Augusta for fun (mostly); I really want to see it improve. As I said before, it's up to us to raise awareness and work together as a community to heal these issues and make Augusta a more hip, enjoyable, commutable and culturally integrated environment. Augusta was recently described to me by an Atlanta-resident as, "It's so 'Old South,' but without the 'Old South' charm." And he's right. Augusta largely possesses that stagnant, dusty, old Southern mindset with the absence of many of the rustic aesthetics and amenities found in other, more contemporary Southern towns. Thus, the only remedy is to finally move this city forward into the new millenium and make Augusta into a place worthy of its size, worthy of the thousands of great people who populate it. I invite you to join me in this quest for a better Augusta. Thanks for reading!
-Matt Hartsock
No comments:
Post a Comment